Translator's Note: Posting this chapter in two parts as its big. Also, lots of romance dialogues. :)

CHAPTER 37

“ … AND WHO SHALL SACRIFICE THE MORE?”

PART 1

The snake paused for a moment, startled at Sivakami’s scream. Then, it slithered its way into the darkness, and vanished.

“Sivakami!” From somewhere beyond the boulders, Aayanar called out. “Did you call for me?”

“No, Appa!” Sivakami called back.

Exactly just how exhilarated and grateful Maamallar felt at her words she found out, through the meaningful grip of his arms around her.

The moon shone as bright as day. The couple moved away from under the Magizham tree, and seated themselves on one of the many boulders strewn around.

“You said you wanted my forgiveness, Sivakami,” Maamallar began. “Why?”

“For having listened to vicious words attacking you, and stayed silent. For having believed them!”

“Is that all? Very well, I forgive you. Now, who’s been directing these verbal attacks against me?”

“We were talking about the bikshu Naganandhi, weren’t we? He was the one who called you the “Cowardly Crown Prince.” He said you were cowering inside the Kanchi fortress, afraid to venture out for fear of the war. He said so many other awful, terrible things –”

Maamallar listened to her without interruption. “I’m not really surprised that Naganandhi spouted such venom. And it’s not him I’m furious at,” he said, at last. “It’s my father. Why wouldn’t people call me a coward if I stay safe inside the fort, when war comes knocking on our doors? I’m not concerned about what others think – but how could you believe them, Sivakami?”

“I’m afraid I did, My Lord. My heartache at being away from you made me want to believe such horrible accusations. I took some comfort in thinking, It would be no great loss, if I were not the beloved of such a spineless man. But while my mind wanted to believe these horrible things, my heart didn’t. It kept telling me that all this was false. Maamallar is a great warrior; you do not deserve his love. That is why you wish to believe the worst of him – because yours is an evil heart! That is what my subconscious kept battering into me. My Lord, will you forgive me?”

“You haven’t committed any crime that needs my forgiveness. I’m the one who should apologize, if anything, for having caused you such distress. But you won’t believe such things of me in the future, will you?”

“Never, My Lord. And if I ever see that bikshu again, I shan’t leave him alone!” Sivakami declared. Then, she turned to him as though she had suddenly remembered something. “My Lord – do you believe in spirits traveling from one body to another?” she asked hesitantly.

“Do I believe in what …?”

“I wondered if it was possible for a spirit to move from one body and into another. Could a man turn into a snake, do you think?” Sivakami trembled.

Maamallar noticed her state. Instantly, he took her into her arms, enveloping her to his chest in a close embrace. “Come, come, Sivakami. What sort of a fear is this? How on earth can a man take a snake’s form? But even if he could, and tried to attack you, I would take the form of an eagle, the Garuda and shred him to pieces. I shall pull his poisonous fangs apart with my sharp talons. Why would you be afraid when I’m right by you?”

“But, My Lord – will you always be my side, and keep me from harm?” asked Sivakami. “Protecting me is not your only purpose in life, is it? Doesn’t Rajyalakshmi, the Goddess who guards your crown and Empire, await your attention always?”

“Say the word, Sivakami – I shall throw that blessed Empire to the winds and fly to you. No kingdom is worth more to me than you –”

“I am not quite that selfish, My Lord – it isn’t my wish to shackle you to me, at all times. You are the scion of the Pallava royal family, the heir to the throne of a dynasty that has ruled our lands for generations, like a lush plantain that births new offspring for centuries. Thousands of men and women live in this country, placing their faith in you, hoping that you sword and javelin will protect them from enemies. You and you alone, have the responsibility of justifying their beliefs; your broad shoulders alone have the power to carry out this duty. And it is indeed the result of some great good I’ve done in my previous births, that such shoulders now shield me from harm. But I haven’t grown conceited by that thought, My Lord. I am not lost to all reason. I shall never, ever ask that the Pallava dynasty’s only heir’s strength, valour and courage be spent only in taking care of this sculptor’s pathetic little daughter. Never ask you to make such a sacrifice for me, either. My Lord, do you know how my heart swelled with pride, when the people of this village praised your courageous deeds on the Pullalur battlefield?”

“Sivakami, my feelings were much the same when the villagers sang such paeons about your brilliant dance. My heart was near bursting with delight and happiness. To tell the truth – I’m almost ashamed at such incredible selfishness.”

“I see nothing selfish in you, My Lord.”

“You wouldn’t. You see me through the shroud of golden perfection you’ve settled on me, Sivakami. Your sight is coloured with your love – it blinds you to my imperfections. I, however, am more than aware of my faults. God has given you an incredible gift, Sivakami – but I’m trying to keep it all to myself. How much more selfish could a man be? My father always said that your talent was a divine gift, meant only for the appreciation of the gods, not for the enjoyment of mere mortals. I realized the truth of his words only yesterday, when I saw you dance at the temple. I even wondered if I wasn’t committing a great crime in stealing you away, when your talent clearly meant that you deserved a better fate –”

Sivakami stood up, walked up to Maamallar and bent in front of him. He understood her intentions at once but before he could move to stop her, she had bent down, touched his feet and placed her palms to her eyes. Then, she sat down beside him. “My Lord – if it be that my talents are to be dedicated to God himself, then you are my Lord, my deity, the one who reigns in my heart. The only reason I learnt Bharathanatyam with such interest in my childhood was to dance for you, whenever you visited us. Your love mellowed my heart. It was the reason my dancing skills grew and reached completion. When I dance and lose myself in an ecstasy of feeling, it’s because, deep in my heart, I know that I’m the one you love. I may sing Appar’s beautiful, heart-wrenching hymns as I dance, My Lord, but you are the only one to whom I shall dedicate my talent and the fame it brings me. No one else deserves to receive it. All the talent I possess is no greater than you, Swami. Say the word, and I shall renounce it with a dip in these very waters.”

Lips like the unfurled, delicate pink petals of a pomegranate flower were slightly parted with emotion; Maamallar reached out and gently placed his hand on them, silencing her. “The more you talk this way, Sivakami, the more unsettled I feel. One day, you may really have to give up this divine gift of yours – my heart clenches when I even think of it! Even you must know that it wouldn’t exactly be in the best of tastes for the Pallava Empress to hold public dance performances. Times like these, I wonder why I couldn’t have really been one of your father’s students. We could have been happy all our lives, couldn’t we – just as we’ve been, these three days? Why do I need an Empire? Why must I bother myself with wars, blood and violence? Sivakami, I shall write to my father that I want no part of a royal life. I shall renounce my birth and my lineage. You and I shall travel with your father in a boat – we’ll take Rathi and Suga Rishi with us as well. We shall find a lonely island of some sort in the middle of the ocean, and settle down, there. The rest of our lives will be spent in splendid isolation and utter happiness. Say the word, Sivakami!”